Log Entry No. 68: Teetering on the Stoop

From the archives of decades past…

The five of them hung out regularly. On this occasion it was Thanksgiving Eve, 1979, after work, about 6 PM, at a bar, just a few blocks from the office. The office was along the coast, they all lived 20 and 30 miles inland, in different towns.

They lifted glasses to the holiday for hours.

As the evening wore on so did the stupidity. Jokes, insults, nothing was off limits. One took the other’s jacket, one took one’s glasses, another took another’s wallet, Tom took Bob’s car keys. They had all driven separately.

Tom (T), well oiled, was the first to leave. It was past 11 PM. He drives the 20 miles home, pulls in the driveway only to find he has Bob’s car keys in his coat pocket. So he drives to Bob’s house, 10 miles away, to drop the car keys. This, was clearly a mistake. It is almost midnight. Bob’s wife (BW) answers the doorbell in a robe. The conversation goes something like this:

BW: (Beyond pissed) What are you doing here, where’s Bob?

T (physically weaving on the doorstep, stammering): Don’t know, just returning his keys.

BW: Where’s his car?

T: Town.

BW: How the hell is he going to get home?

T: Don’t know.

BW: (Way beyond pissed, smoking!) (T still weaving around on the door step): Do you know tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day?

T: Hmmmm….

BW: Did you know I needed him to shop tonight for dinner condiments for tomorrow? Do you know his family is coming tomorrow? You guys are disgusting! (She’s experienced with the group)

BW: Grabs the car keys and slams the door.

T: Goes home. Smiling, happily knowing that Bob is going to take a number of days of pure hellfire.

(You can’t make this stuff up)

***** S&E *****

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